Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize