You work out of a Hotel?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Randomize
