need another drink. this is the easiest way
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
