are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
