Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
