I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I smell like Dick and happiness
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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