I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
