he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
