my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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