I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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