Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
