3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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