I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize