But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
