do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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