Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm too high and old for this...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
