Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
