SEEEEXXX PLEASE
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
