Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
