He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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