Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
