So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You need a sexual gate keeper
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
