When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
did i just pee glitter
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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