Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
