Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
