Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
