That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
