Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
