I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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