sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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