Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
