i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
