I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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