i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
