new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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