I bet he comes in French.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
