And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
