Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We are all done wearing pants today
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
