his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize