he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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