I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
