New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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