Can Purell be used as lube?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
porn star boner night. come get it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
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