Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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