Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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