operation harelip BJ is a go
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
