i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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