When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
