i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
