i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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