the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
