Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
