Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My life is pants optional.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
