Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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