what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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