I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
