I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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