no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize