So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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