There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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