I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
