Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
