Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
