I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
