doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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