Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
