how can u be prego again
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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