Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
