she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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