I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize