i don't like sucking hair
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
