so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
